6 sex tips to try on Valentine’s Day
You have made it through Christmas and Skint January and now we’re here with one small hurdle – Valentine’s Day.
As a couple, the pressure can mount up. What present should I get? Where do we go for a meal? Is there any chance I could ask if we can forget it altogether without insulting my partner?
Valentine’s Day started in the 3rd century when St Valentine was executed for marrying people in secret. He was killed on 14 February, leaving a letter signed ‘Your Valentine’ to his love.
So instead of fobbing off Valentine’s Day, or getting lost in the pressure of it all, remember St V and his final day.
Don’t treat Valentine’s Day like it’s your first, or as if it has to be the best day – treat it like it’s your last.
Far from being maudlin, this mindset might help you discover new and exciting things to try with your partner. Here are a few ideas that will hopefully help you on the way.
Try a new space
Hire a hotel room, an AirBnB, or even one of the spas and saunas which are there to help couples have an intimate moment.
But just going into a different place can help you feel like you’re trying something new. It doesn’t have to be a luxury hotel (but it helps), just somewhere where you’re not going to find yourselves doing the same things because you’re in the same places.
Plus it can be something to look forward to. You can arrive with a whole different, more risqué wardrobe than you would wear normally.
Deny yourself access to those things which can be a temptation to just sit and not enjoy a bit of experimentation; Netflix, pyjamas and the take-away menus.
Start the day together
Morning sex. When was the last time you had it without worrying about work, sleep, the kids coming in etc?
Set yourself up for starting the day off with a lovely shag. This is just the start, so you don’t need to bend yourselves into any karma sutra positions, just keep it simple and enjoy.
I recommend saving the athletics for later, and if anyone wants to know why you might be late for work – tell them to use their imaginations
You don’t have to be spending the day apart for this to help get the blood flowing, even if you’re right next to each other it can just be easier to say what you want to do or try via technology.
If you’re in a new relationship, and maybe the trust just isn’t there but you still want to try it, get a different SIM card. You also certainly don’t have to send pictures to make it racey.
Check out our handy ‘How To’ guide if you’re looking for inspiration.
Don’t go out to dinner
Don’t do it to yourselves!
You can go out to dinner any other day, but there are so many reasons to avoid it
‘Where do you want to go? I don’t mind’ is the first sentence that will cause an argument.
While you might think that placing the onus on the other person to find a place for dinner is ‘a treat’ (‘Because we’ll go where YOU want to go!’), it is actually a hell of a lot of emotional labour.
You want to find somewhere romantic, but not too seedy.
You want to find somewhere with good food, but won’t break the bank.
You want to find somewhere where you can chat, but won’t ultimately be filled with other dead-eyed couples desperately trying to be romantic.
Even after all that, you’ll have to pause while some bell-end will get on their knee, propose, and you’ll have to look happy about it.
No. Don’t do it.
Also, have you ever eaten a lovely three course meal and thought ‘Yeah, what I really want to do is get athletic in the bedroom’?
Plus it increases the chances of you both getting hammered on wine.
Instead, get food you can eat throughout the evening. Food you can play with. Food you’ll happily eat in bed at midnight when you’re naked, sweaty and exhausted.
Now that you’ve saved your dinner-money, spend it on porn! It doesn’t have to be seedy free-porn, why not try having fun with a web-cam model?
There are now hundreds you can choose from who will act as ‘boss’ in the bedroom, get them to decide what your evening’s activities are going to be and/or watch them do what you’re into.
If you’re feeling flash, you can also get custom porn – pornographers who will enact whatever your fantasies are.
If you’re feeling voyeuristic you can watch couples on a webcam, or show off to one if you’re into a bit of exhibitionism.
If you want to try something more risqué than a blindfold and handcuffs, head out to a Munch, crunch or fetish fair to pick up some ideas, inspiration and advice from those in the know.
These are great for not only helping you learn more about any kinks you’re into, but also exposing yourself to many you might never have heard of.
Both of you should go with an open-mind, but you should also be aware of your own limits – make it clear what you’re definitely not into.