Patrick Edet’s proposed Marriage: Matters Arising ( A MUST READ)
By Kenneth Jude
Why do we have this insatiable propensity to peddle falsehood and market same with undying passion? Why are we always qiuck to smear people’s image with vile devotion?
Each time a story about a famous person hits public space, we don’t want to take it as it is. We must twist it to suit our gossipy whims with electrifying gusto.
Why does a decision by a man, who freely left priesthood to be free to get married after freeing himself from the vows of celibacy become such a hot topic so much that many are daily putting up the bizarre just to score some very cheap social media points, pull traffic and attract curious readers that almost always swallow every tale hook, line and sinker?
Well, it can be understood on the one hand that the man in question, though a preacher, has become a news maker, any day. So, the question and arguments by some people that people should mind their business becomes, somewhat, a hollow viewpoint for they do not understand what news means and those who make news. For one, having wormed his way into public consciousness via his radio and TV exploits, Patrick Edet’s business is no longer a private one.
But what is sad, if not disheartening about this marriage tale of former Father Patrick Edet is the absurd, horrendous picture being circulated on social media of a lady said to be the intended wife. And just imagine how far the fabricated picture has spread and the speed with which people who should be discerning have believed and promoted same with infantile glee.
Truth be told, any news concerning Patrick Edet will always elicit interest. For one, he is no ordinary preacher in the sense that he set the enviable and unenviable record of being the only preacher of the Roman Catholic Church to announce his resignation from priesthood fourteen long years into the journey on radio. When one talks on radio, TV, newspaper, he doesn’t seek privacy but publicity.
He wants to be known, heard. Sometimes not necessarily to advertise pomposity as many are wont to think, but it may be a passion, love for the mic and a quest to reach a larger audience. The August 2nd, 2017 resignation on radio was not the first time the Oro born cleric hit this age long portal. He has been there for years having once confessed that he had the revelation that his whole life will be spent on radio right from his seminary years.
So, the man had already prepared himself to become a public property that’ll not only dispense Holy Communion from the conservative altar of the Catholic Church, but preaching the good news devoid of the tone and tenor of catholicism and all its accoutrements to a disparate audience.
From then, he was no private man. He was known across the country if not beyond the shores of Africa. Many, non Catholics, mostly, knew him via their TV screens and radio. Many were awed by the glamour he exuded as a Catholic priest so much that they looked at him not from the prism of the institution he represented, but the content of his message, the manner of presentation and the radical passion he evinced. They saw him not with the chasuble but with pastoral suit, designer tie and collar of Pentecostalism.
And true to their predictions, he pandered to their wishes the way he did with magisterial and imperial aplomb. To date, the man who has set his marriage date for March 17 has not lacked flock nor followers. To his army of disciples, he is not just a preacher, but a teacher, prophet, a counsellor, a confidant. He’ll soon wear the toga of a papa. Trust us in matters of religion and stoic belief in our pastors, some of which we describe with gay relish as papas, their wives, mamas. These were appellations for aged people, but no more in this age. You become an instant papa as a preacher no matter your age; and a mama by marrying a papa. But when on the top chair as GO, your own ‘papa’ and that of a junior pastor’s ‘papa’ are poles apart. They aren’t mates. Pardon my digression.
It is understandable and undeniable that hundreds are looking up to Patrick Edet’s wedding with bated breath. Some do not want to attend it because they want to attend a wedding like they do with others as innocent guests. No. Many want to go and see if indeed it’s true. They want to see how a man who swore to be celibate will now swear to the oath of fidelity to his wife. How he will look wearing a wedding suit. How he will wriggle and wiggle his waist to beats during nuptial dance – the steps he’ll take, how he will dance with his wife, perhaps with conjoined hands in sheer ecstasy, that orgasmic moment of “you may now kiss your bride,” how they will exchange romantic glances that will inevitably lead to conjugal gymnastics and calisthenics in the other side. Buhari calls it the other room.
For fourteen years, it is likely that he lay alone in his cozy room, bed – dealt with all seasons by all weathers mercilessly like Barcelona’s Messi. About six month after stepping away from the Catholic Church and her famed priesthood, he’ll no longer be given chilly punches by harsh weathers. Not even the seasonal harmattan haze and iciness will keep him thinking aloud and worried down there. Gone are the days rainy seasons raised tension all over the place. All that is gone courtesy of a new ma’am that is stepping in with all feministic accessories in tow to ward off and inevitably fight and defeat those long, chilly tempting nights. That’s the joy, gains of freedom. Isn’t it?
Let’s not begrudge him this liberty. At any rate, he has the right to choose a wife since he’s no longer Father Edet but Mr. Edet. To authenticate his new identity, a madam should step in to complement that. No pastor worth his calling is without a wife. In fact, nobody, from what I know, is ordained a pastor without a wife as a precondition.
This is done to help him settle issues of concupiscence. So, with no Cassock, Stole, Cincture, Chasuble, Patrick Edet, to avoid those inevitable peccadilloes that lead to lustful glances at buxom, roundish choristers, (most of whom skimpy attires plus suggestive dance steps can make a preacher talk about Song of Solomon having asked the congregation to open to Exodus), and wild thoughts, reserves the right to pick a wife, more so, now that he is a General Overseer (GO) of a sprawling ministry that has since morphed into a full blown church with Sunday service now part of the programme of activities.
But my worry is the fake picture and clearly unfounded tale that is circulating about this upcoming high octane wedding. How can someone with his faculties intact say that Edet had been involved in a sizzling secret romance with the lady for all of four years? (Don’t ask how I know they weren’t). How did they know? Which lady are they even talking about? An ebony damsel looking more like one doing a modelling stuff for, say a soap, cream company placed side by side with the Mbo born cleric spreading like wild fire on social media? I make bold to say that the tale, picture are contrived materials designed to ridicule the God’s errand boy. I hasten to apologise to him on behalf of these lot. Forgive them Sir, for they do not know what they say.
Whoever started this costly joke that has become a trending issue should desist forthwith, pray and seek God’s forgiveness anon. It is a sacrilege to tell a lie and propagate such injurious allegations against someone, more so, a man of God. Accuse me of leaping to his defense and I’ll tell you I’m doing my job which subsist in laying matters bare as they are without tainting or tilting same to suit the fancy of naysayers. People should say what they know, please.
In his Tuesday fellowship at the famous Ibom Hall last week, he intimated the faithful of his marriage plans. He gave the date as March 17, 2018, a day that coincides with Feast of St. Patrick, a cultural and religious celebration observed predominantly by Catholics. The intended wife’s identity, he said, will be revealed today – same time, same venue. So, where did people get the picture of the anonymous lady to assault our sights on social media? There’s a limit to which we can peddle falsehood in the name of joke, humour.
While hoping that a word is enough for the wise, I wish to state here quite upfront that one should not be disappointed if (s)he is not given access to the wedding venue (reception). I sense, and rightly so, that the door won’t be thrown open to every Tom…I see attendees being given special invitations. And for you wanting to attend with the intention of seeing it all with your “two naked eyes,” sorry, you may only get to see pictures of the wedding and perhaps, be fed with hearsays from those that won’t equally be there. It’s our culture in this part. Them say…! Who said? Them. And we’ll listen with rapt attention and swallow same as if it were a ball of eba!
I don’t want to join the debate that the lure of marriage inspired his resignation at the first instance. Those who hold this opinion contend that if it’s not so, he wouldn’t have thought of marriage barely six months after that infamous resignation. We may not really know because he never told us that a woman was the motivating factor behind his decision to leave during his valedictory radio message. Whatever is his driving desire, for me, still revolves round the realm of freedom which he continues to harp on at every fora with unmistakable fervour.
And for those who think that one is dwelling too much on Patrick Edet’s issues, it bears repeating that any matter about him is no private one. His first baby, take it or leave it, will be a big news. If a family squabble between the Psquare brothers could become a matter of national and international debate, talk more of a former Reverend Father turned pastor, church owner, married man. All in the same city. And you think it’s no news? You must be nursing some hard feelings about the man in question hence you find it irritating for people to talk about him. Please, purge yourself of this pettiness because it borders more on jealousy than any perceived maturity.
Any day, so long as he lives, any topic on Patrick Edet will always draw interest, if not from his eternally disappointed Catholics, his village people, his community, his army of followers on the mass and social media, his new church members and those who want to hear bad news of him.
Like many others, I’m looking forward to this talk-of-the-town wedding. My suit is ready. My black leather shoe, polished. My hair, cut to size, plus a well shaven beard to look smart, responsible. I may not be given a special invitation to attend, but the Scripture talks about being ready, always.
Kenneth Jude is a Public Affairs Analyst and two-time AKS NUJ Best Columnist of the Year. 08065998880